So it’s extemp prep right now, round two, 10:43 in the morning and no, I’m not on the Internet. This is a word document that I plan to post later to the xanga. If you are reading it, it means I was successful in the post.
3 hasn’t talked to me since I saw him on Wednesday. I know, only a couple of days, we’re not officially a “thing” and he knows I’m busy this weekend. I just fear that I’ve already blown it he’s no longer interested. I’m going to wait out his phone call…. especially since I texted him yesterday telling him to call me if he was free this weekend. Am I really this clingy? Apparently so. I just don’t really want to fuck it up; HE’S SUCH A NICE GUY. But knowing me, I probably already have. UGGH.
Fut. World Dictator and I have started talking again, nearing a pathway to friendship. I’m excited. I guess honesty and actually trying to make a difference is doing just that- actually making a difference, or so I perceive. It’s interesting to read blog entries about me. I have to wonder if he will read this one, and know it is about him.
I have had some really good interactions with the team this journey. Last year I would frequently feel lonesome, lonely, or excluded when out with the team. I was insecure. Despite the fact that I was moody yesterday and then later had a complete meltdown including tears about how scared I was to compete today (really hard tournament), I am awake today and ever so glad to be surrounded by the people I am. It was so weird revisiting this campus because in so many ways it seems like I’ve never been here before. There are only minor changes, and the stairs that gave me a scar look as rugged and treacherous as ever, but I have changed. I am still clumsy, but knowing my weaknesses means I can overcome them easier.
Ok, it is now 12:31, I’ve prepped and given another speech and am in prep for round three.
KHat seems threatened right now. My debate coach talked about me getting some help/practice w/ DW. However, the subject was mentioned in front of her and KHat immediately replied- “Well we shall see about that! He does not get final decisions on those things, I am your extemp coach.” My first question is- why would you stop someone from getting EXTRA coaching from someone else if you want him or her to do well competitively? Further- what threat is a coach from another team watching me give a speech? Incidentally, West judged me today, so I will get his feedback anyway. I just don’t understand the politics and feeling threatened about it.
In other highlights of this week- I think one of my close friendships may be over and there is not much good I have to say on the issue. :sigh: It’s such a waste.
In other news I have a story from this morning, an encounter that Jay-Z and I shared in the lobby. I had come from my hotel room to garner another towel for one of the girls who was currently showering since they did not provide enough in the rooms for us. (No free Internet, not enough towels, no iron, no hair dryer, but we have HBO! Thanks Red Roof Inn.) Jay-z met me as I was walking toward the lobby. He was hungry and refused to believe that there was not a breakfast to be had.
We enter the lobby. The desk-worker reminds me of the desk-worker from Hot Fuzz. He barely notices our entrance and motions to the towels sitting in a large stack off the side. I pick one up and the desk-worker may as well have vanished.
On two older looking big sofa type chairs are two people, a man and a women. The woman is wearing a yellow casual sweater and looks like she could be anyone’s Mom. The man stands out more. Perhaps it is because of the awkward taupe color of sweater that I am staring at, or perhaps the silver and brown colored cross that sits across his chest on a chain. I wonder for a moment if he is a pastor.
Lady: Are you all speakers in speech and debate?
Me: Yes Ma’am.
Lady: Oooh! What do you speak about? What’s your topic?
Jay-Z: Well let’s see…. :picks up USA Today lying in front of him and opens his mouth to explain extemp, I can tell the couple (if they are together) will not understand his or my explanation::
Pastor: Do you pick the topic? Well can you speak about your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?
Jay-Z: What??
Pastor: Your LORD and SAVIOR, Jesus Christ.
Jay-Z: You can speak about anything you want…. You just have to say on topic.
Pastor: What?
Jay-Z: Like, if it asks about…. :selects first newspaper article that catches his eye:: Bush’s water bill..
Pastor: Oh, they TELL you what to talk about. Well I…
The lady then broke in hurriedly seeming to want to change the subject as quick as possible.
Lady: Where are you all from?
Apparently the twilight zone. In round one, where the speaker after me got a question about the religious right, I had to wonder whether or not I would have breached the topic of my personal Lord and Savior.
Post a Comment